The way God sees it #39

And it's 3:20am right now. I've been having a tough time sleeping this week again. Oh, and I've come to the conclusion that blogging before bed actually does the opposite of what I wanted it to do- it keeps me up. But I love it, even though this is only my 3rd posting so far.

This past week, I've found myself continually reviewing Abraham's life. What faith! Not knowing hardly any details of what God's plan was for him and his family, he left Canaan in obedience to the Lord. All he knew was the promise that God had spoken to him in Gen. 12, which in God's grace, still applies to us today. On top of knowing very little about the in-betweens of God's plan, he never even saw the promise come to pass. Yet he did not waver in his faith. He knew the Promisor - His character, His nature. And that was all he needed to know. God always gives us what we need to know when we need to know it. Abraham was God's "yes man." He didn't argue when God told him to leave his homeland. He knew that his home was ultimately in a "better country" - eternity. He simply said, "yes, Lord." Faith and obedience. The father of our faith displayed such a picture of faith and obedience. This is all the Lord desires - that we believe who He has said He is, and obey. He's made it pretty simple. Unfortunately, I can sometimes make it a lot more difficult than this. But, I'm learning!

So, as I've been pondering Abraham's life over the past week, I realized that my faith has been put to the test. As I've been on a job search for the past 3 months, God has, in His perfect timing, positioned me somewhere!! It took up until, well, just now for me to honestly say that this was His perfect timing. My flesh fought against His timing in this process numerous times, but those that wait on the Lord will never be put to shame. And I am believing for His fame to spread within this cute little baby clothing shop that He has positioned me in. Here's where one aspect of my faith is being tested - do I believe in Jehovah Jireh? The pay for this job is what I was making as a teenager. So, what does this mean?? God gets to show off!! I can't wait for Him to provide for me financially in ways I never expected that will glorify Him. It makes no sense to me, or to the world for that matter, that a 27 year old woman with a college degree would take this job. And I struggled with this at first. I had another job paying twice as much that was a potential too. "Well, of course God would want to give me the higher paying job!" I thought. Although it's full-time, and I would have to lay down what He's calling me to in this season, it's the abundance of the Lord, right?? But here is what the Lord revealed to me. Here's the way God sees it #39 (Starbucks, you know, on their cups? Get it?): If I were to take the higher paying, full-time job, I would be settling for less than His best. Why, you ask? I would be giving up the things the Lord is calling me to right now that is preparing me for His call on my life in the future. To the world, I settled for this low-paying job. To the Lord, I am refusing the world's kingdom and coming into alignment with His. I feel His favor like never before. And I am believing for His blessings to flow through my obedience. His blessings aren't always the way we see them; as financial prosperity, material things, although He loves to include these! His divine inheritance has everything to do with knowing Christ, the power of His death and resurrection, and the peace, joy and righteousness of the Kingdom of God. We are told to seek first His kingdom, and all of our material benefits will be added unto us. So, praise God! I feel like I'm not completely out of my mind!

He has brought me to a place over the past several months that even suprises me. I can honestly say that I now count every achievement from my past as rubbish. It doesn't mean anything, and hasn't gotten me anywhere. The Lord is the one who qualifies me. Not the world or even the hard work I've done to become qualified in the world. I am hungry for the riches of Christ to flow, especially in my new job. And I am believing for His supernatural benefits. So, the answer to do I believe in Jehovah Jireh?: YES. With all of my being. I know that His provision is not just what He enjoys doing, it's just who He is. And, like Abraham, who He is is all I need to know.

A Bendable Bride

I woke up this morning at 5:30 to the wonderful NPR station. I left it on for a while, mostly awake, but completely understanding the gist of all of the news I was hearing. The underlying theme in our nation right now is "panic and fear." They were of course talking about the gasoline issue, and then they were interviewing some people in Texas that had been victims of the storm. I guess there's extended power outages down there. One woman was talking about how the power went out for a whole day, and all of the food in her refrigerator went bad, costing her $500 worth of groceries. I thought, "who buys $500 worth of groceries!" which is completely besides the point of what I'm trying to get at. I was troubled when I shut off the radio. I didn't really know why. As I began talking to the Lord about the situation in America, I realized that if I focus on the downward spiral that seems to be happening in our economy, I don't really know what to pray. So, I'm praying for the Church in America, instead of the situations that present "panic and fear."

What a perfect time for the Church to awaken out of sleep and bring peace to those that are being tormented (and probably don't even know it) by fear and anxiety. The Kingdom of God must present itself to the world in such a time as this, and the culture of our Kingdom must prove to the culture of this world that our God and Lord Jesus Christ reigns over all. The elements of this culture cannot touch the Church of Jesus Christ. We are citizens of the Kingdom of God, and everything that makes up His kingdom is our inheritance. I pray that the Church in America will awaken to their inheritance, and release it into the culture in which we are temporarily assigned to.

I was also thinking today about what it really means for the Church to become more and more bendable. What I mean is this: Eph. 2 talks about how the Church is being fit together for a dwelling place of God. So, how do we really fit together? (If you haven't guessed yet, I ask lots of questions! I love questions, and I love answers even more!) As I pondered this with Jesus, and how glorious it will be when we are actually fit together, I saw how unbendable and unflexible the Church is right now. We get disgruntled when our comfort zones are interrupted! I have been such a partaker in this disgruntling too - I won't lie! But there is hope. I've seen parts of the Bride reshaping herself in order to be fitted together with others. And I believe we will be seeing it more and more. The Bride is so beautiful - how much more beautiful when she bends and becomes flexible so that she can become connected to her counterparts! This is my hope - the fullness of Christ. I am ruined more every day for the glory of the Lord. Anything that takes away from that glory, I will go after in love and truth. We were made to be the praise of His glory. Reveal places in Your Bride, Lord, where there is stiffness and unwillingness to bend. Fill us with Your wisdom to speak gracefully to the stiff places, that Your Bride may become soft, bendable, and willing to go wherever You need her to, and to do whatever is necessary for Your glory to be revealed in every people group in every place.

The Lord sees the desires of our hearts. My heart longs for the family that I haven't even met yet on the other side of the world. I don't know why, but sometimes it overwhelms me, like it did tonight. As I hear a song inspired from Hosea being played over the people in Turkey, and as I hear about all that God is doing in Lebanon (the nation, not the city in TN), I think about the simplicity that I had the honor to experience in Nepal. I don't know if simplicity is the mark of every nation except America, but I long for the simplicity that I've once experienced to be present here. I experienced it in the pure, innocent worship from a group of teenagers that love to laugh and have fun. I experienced it as I watched little Emmanuel (the boy in my photo) banging on a drum and singing praise to God, even though he has no idea what he's really singing or playing his drum to. I experienced it when an acoustic guitar or just a few bongo drums were the only things keeping the rhythm to our songs, and yet ushering in the presence of the Lord. God reminded me on my way home tonight that I am His vineyard. "I, the Lord, keep it, I water it every moment; lest any hurt it, I keep it night and day" (Is. 27:3). He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts as we feed on His faithfulness. He tends to us every moment, guarding what He's put in our hearts for His glory, and watering the hope of His calling in each one of us. He is faithful, and He is good. So good.

Applying with the City of Franklin

I'm tired, but was reading a friend's blog and decided I would start my own. A mentor of mine told me a few weeks ago that I needed a night-time routine so that I could sleep. She's a licensed counselor, and says that night routines help people's brains wind down, and everyone should have one. Hers is watching the Andy Griffith Show with her husband. So, this blog may very well be mine! I'll let you know how it works out.

So, I am in the process of trying to find a job. This has been a fun-filled day of driving, applying, test-taking, and phone talking just to find a part-time job. I feel like I've applied with the entire city of Franklin. I don't know exactly what God is doing, but I know that He is orchestrating something! But, I have received a much-needed perspective about this 2 1/2 month job seeking journey: the job is probably the least important thing in my life right now. Not that it's not important, but I know what God has called me to in this season - Global Boot Camp, a courtship with a wonderful man of God, mentoring 4 young ladies, Perspectives class, Frontline prayer - not to mention maintaining and deepening my current relationships with friends and family. The job I need is really just to make money and bring the kingdom of God into wherever He positions me. I'm no longer looking for a job that I'm "qualified" for, whatever that means anyway. My role as a mature woman of God is to allow God to establish His kingdom order in my life and for me to release it into others lives, regardless of what job I have. My position is humility, asking Jesus to position me for His glory, WHEREVER that will be!

Can I just say, that God is so good? Jesus Christ is my Redeemer! I am seeing Him redeem so much in my life right now. He is rinsing me of independence and ruining me for His Bride, His people. I long to see more and more of His Bride! Today, I had a meeting with a youth pastor of a Methodist church in the city. What an incredible time! This woman is so precious and beautiful, passionate for social justice and missions, and seeing a generation on fire for God's glory! I rejoiced as I left our time together, not because the Global Boot Campers could partner with her (because they can't with their schedule), but because God was glorified as we connected and planned for future connections with one another. His Bride is beautiful! I want to see more of her.